HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU’RE READY FOR PARENTHOOD

• MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
• TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs. (If LEGOs are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
• GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
• DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff it into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
• FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Get the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
• NIGHT TEST: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing them until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
• PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 mo. Now remove 10% of the beans.
• PHYSICAL TEST (MEN): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
• FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many things they can improve as well. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you'll have all the answers.

 

 

This year marks my 14th year in Country Radio and my 10th here at COW97. My radio days began as a senior in high school at my hometown radio station WHTL in Whitehall, WI. I am a 2002 graduate of the University of Wisconsin La Crosse, a husband, and a father of one amazing daughter. 

 

We get to be a part of many great things in radio, but the #1 reason I do it is because of the music. I am a country music freak. New…old…twang…no twang…it is the reason I’ve been hanging around country radio for 14 years. I like to think that it’s more than just music. I like the fun songs, but I flip over those with strong lyrics…the kind of songs that grab you by the shirt collar and pull you close to the speaker. 

 

 

I’m probably happiest listening to the saddest songs….crazy??….maybe!

 

I once had a co worker who called me “aloof.” It freaked me out at first. I didn’t know what it meant. 

 

I think she was dead on. I can be very reserved sometimes making people get the wrong impression perhaps. Trust me, most of the building here thinks I am crazy, and they may be right! 

 

My 5th grade teacher once called me “Finicky.” Again it freaked me out. I didn’t have a clue what it meant. 

 

Finicky? Perhaps on my views of country music, people who hurt kids or the elderly, and taking your hat off for the National Anthem. Other than that I’m able to go with the flow. I think. I may be some type of walking contradiction.

 

I want to say “thank you.” I know there are choices in which station you listen to and the fact that you choose COW97 is just great! Call the COW lines anytime. This is your station and I feel privileged to be a part of your day!

Fun Facts about Arnie...

 

Surprising a young kid at Country Fest with meet & greets for Toby Keith. He was a big fan and his dad was gone serving in Iraq at the time. His grandma contacted me ahead of time and I was able to surprise him at his campsite. I could see it meant the world to him and his family.

Boring….But HOME

Dirty Little Secret... 

I am a fan of 80’s Monster Ballads

St Jude Children’s Hospital. They are working miracles there.

Favorite Wisconsin Sports Team

I grew up a die-hard Niners Fan.   I mean over the top. My wife, however, is converting me over to the Pack. Those that knew me in high school wouldn’t believe it.

What did you want to be as a kid?

I can’t really remember. But as a kid, I would play Red Sovine records and pretend I was on the radio.

What cartoon character or superhero would you like to be and why?

Superman. I’d love to show up when some puke is hurting the innocent and put an end to it.

If they were to make a movie about you, who would play you and what would the title be?

Gary Busey. “One Day He Just Snapped”

If you could meet anyone famous, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

Waylon Jennings. He always seemed to have a no nonsense take on things. 

 

I have to click my car door lock button twice, so the horn beeps twice, every time I get out.

What is the wallpaper on your cell phone
A picture of my daughter Lilly!

What are 3 things you can’t live without

My wife Anna

My 2 children

And COUNTRY MUSIC